Zion Volleyball Official Rules and Regulations (Part 1)

1. The first serve is always a "Practice Serve". Unless of course, the first serve happens to clear the net and actually land in bounds.
   
2. If eight or more people are playing, then the black lines (and back walls) mark the boundaries. If less than eight people are playing the yellow lines are out.
3. You may serve under-hand, over-hand or jump serve. You do however, have to inform all other players what kind of serve you will be using. You apparently DO NOT however, have to pay attention to where you are standing when you serve. Go ahead, creep up to that mid-court line. We're not picky.
   
4. If our team calls it a "carry" and you and your team deny it, you can prove your innocence by completing the "trial by fire" walk (please refer to "The Office, Season Three, Episode 22 "Beach Day").
5. You may leave at any time for a drink or bathroom break. You don't have to inform anyone - not even your own teammates. Just please come back eventually.
   
6. If you are sitting on the stage due to Maternity Leave, please remember we CAN NOT be held responsible for you getting hit by the ball. It's every woman for herself out there. This also goes to any setters who get nailed in the back of the head by the server on their own team. We recommend standing behind the standard until the serve is complete.

More to follow...

On the issue of SHOE TRACTION

Okay, after a little research (thank you Google). It looks like the current possibilities for improving shoe traction on the court include the following:

1. Spit
I don't care how you get it there (i.e. spit on the floor then wipe your shoes in it, spit in your hands then wipe your shoes in it - however, be aware that licking your hands and then wiping your shoes is really only good for the first time you need it).

2. Water
You may drip a few drops of water from your water bottle or a handy little secret (thank you fencing.net) is to keep a damp paper towel on the sidelines and step on it when you need to renew traction.

3. Windex
Also from fencing.net "This trick is used by wheelchair athletes. It works better than water, because it softens the rubber making it more 'sticky', thus gripping the floor better. Since most running shoes have rubber soles, it's the same principle."
I'm not sure I noticed a huge difference between Windex and water, but I'll need to do a more in depth study. As we all know, since we've all seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", it should work better.

4. Rosin
Not that I have any, but it's supposed to work well - HOWEVER "Rock rosin can be abrasive as well as sticky and can do a number a polished wood floor, it is also a bear to try and clean off the surface. So you wouldn't want to use it in say someplace like the school gymnasium." (you guessed it - fencing.net).
So unless we want to royally tick off the janitorial staff - and they know who we are - we'd better not try this one.

5. Sneaker with built-in atomizer
You can read the really long and boring article here:
http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/5471768/description.html
To all the rich girls on the team - let me know how well this one works, okay?

This Week's Inspirational Quote

Team T-shirt

Okay Team!!! It's time to start our t-shirt design/logo contest!!!

Here's my entry:

If you can say it in front of the Bishop
IT AIN'T SMACK.