This Is How We Roll

T-Shirt Poll

Please take a moment to vote (on the right) for our team t-shirt design!

Instant Bad Karma

Instant: an infinitesimal or very short space of time; a moment.
Bad: not good in any manner or degree.
Karma: action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation.

Remember ladies. What goes around, comes around. Sometimes almost instantaneaosly.

Continued Net Violations

Electric fencing string is on sale at Cal-Ranch this week. What do you guys think?

Last Call For T-Shirt Designs

Ladies,

Please submit your t-shirt design/logo ideas as a comment to this post. We will be voting soon.

So far we have two entries:

1. "If you can say it in front of the Bishop, IT AIN'T SMACK."
2. Front: "Bring it". Back: "It's already been broughten".

Turn them in ASAP.

Sincerely,

The Management

First Official Response to First Official Complaint

Suck it up.

First Official Complaint

Well folks. Here it is. The First Official Complaint for the Zion Volleyball blog:

This is kind of a weird e-mail but somethings bothering me, so I thought I'd let you know. It seems like you're using your volleyball blog as a passive aggressive way to take jabs at people. I know some of the things in your posts are directed towards things I say. I just want you to be aware that not all of it is funny when I know what you're implying. I'm sorry, and this is probably going to bug you, but I'd rather tell YOU about it than someone else. Anyway, I still like most of the things you put, I just ask that you be careful. Thanks!

Name Withheld

First Documented Injury

You know what's just wrong?

1. Telling dirty jokes at Zion Volleyball (thank you to all for refraining - especially given the amount of peer pressure)
2. The picture below

Bump. Set. Spike.

It's not just a figure of speech or a really catchy cheer from your former cheerleading days.
It's what we should all be aiming for every time the ball comes at us over the net.
Unless, of course, a "certain someone" is serving - and we all know who she is - in that case, just let your survival instinct try and carry you through until she inevitably puts a dent in the back wall with one of her serves.

TMI

a.k.a. "Too Much Information".

We're all women here. Most of us are married and have given birth. Therefore we all have the ability to describe, in detail, some of the most disturbing and mental-image-provoking situations. But let's try and remember not to share "TMI". Not that it would really bother any of us, but you never know when that older gentleman is going to stop by to lock up the doors and we wouldn't want him to have a heart attack upon overhearing something too abrasive for his delicate ears.

Injuries

It has recently come to my attention that it would be a good idea to keep some first aid supplies on hand. Does anyone know where we might purchase some Hello Kitty band-aids?

This Week's Inspirational Quote

Remember who you are,
And don't let it get you down.

Violent Behavior

We need to address the issue of Violent Behavior.
Here at Zion Volleyball we will be the first to admit that we enjoy a bit of friendly banter during our games. We're all (technically at least) adults. We don't take offense or choose to be slighted when another player takes it upon herself to insult us. Almost anything is fair game. We are free to rank on your hair color, height, choice of exercise clothing or inability to hit the ball. We may also rank on any former attitudes (remembered from high school days) or former extra curricular activities (read "the fact that you were a cheerleader").
However, when emotions start to run high, we sometimes see break-outs of violence - from throwing the volleyball at another player to actually tackling them to the ground (or making an earnest attempt to do so).
Ladies, let's keep it verbal. If you can't take the heat - get some hot flash medication.

This Week's Announcements

Unfortunately, there will be no Zion Volleyball this week. On Thursday night our court will be defaced with streamers and balloons in preparation for the riotous celebration of the uniting of two souls. If there's dancing, I sincerely hope no one trips on that broken floorboard.

Zion Volleyball Official Rules and Regulations (Part 2)

Thank you to all who commented on The Official Rules (Part 1). It seems there are several rules still requiring clarification.

7. Playing off of the walls and ceiling. It is perfectly acceptable to play off of the walls and/or ceiling when your team still has legal hits remaining. However, the ball will be considered "out" if you hit the wall or ceiling after the ball has passed over the net to the other team.
8. While making a basket and hitting a light fixture are very cool things to do (and often the highlight of our evening), neither one has any actual point value.
9. Feel free at any time to tangle with the net. If you are playing on the front line (or rushing up from the back) go right ahead and bounce off the thing or hang yourself from it for all we care. If in the process you manage to block an oncoming ball or (gasp) actually SPIKE a ball we promise to be so impressed that we won't even comment on the fact that you had to disentangle your ponytail from the net afterward.

This Week's Inspirational Quote

Zion Volleyball Official Rules and Regulations (Part 1)

1. The first serve is always a "Practice Serve". Unless of course, the first serve happens to clear the net and actually land in bounds.
   
2. If eight or more people are playing, then the black lines (and back walls) mark the boundaries. If less than eight people are playing the yellow lines are out.
3. You may serve under-hand, over-hand or jump serve. You do however, have to inform all other players what kind of serve you will be using. You apparently DO NOT however, have to pay attention to where you are standing when you serve. Go ahead, creep up to that mid-court line. We're not picky.
   
4. If our team calls it a "carry" and you and your team deny it, you can prove your innocence by completing the "trial by fire" walk (please refer to "The Office, Season Three, Episode 22 "Beach Day").
5. You may leave at any time for a drink or bathroom break. You don't have to inform anyone - not even your own teammates. Just please come back eventually.
   
6. If you are sitting on the stage due to Maternity Leave, please remember we CAN NOT be held responsible for you getting hit by the ball. It's every woman for herself out there. This also goes to any setters who get nailed in the back of the head by the server on their own team. We recommend standing behind the standard until the serve is complete.

More to follow...

On the issue of SHOE TRACTION

Okay, after a little research (thank you Google). It looks like the current possibilities for improving shoe traction on the court include the following:

1. Spit
I don't care how you get it there (i.e. spit on the floor then wipe your shoes in it, spit in your hands then wipe your shoes in it - however, be aware that licking your hands and then wiping your shoes is really only good for the first time you need it).

2. Water
You may drip a few drops of water from your water bottle or a handy little secret (thank you fencing.net) is to keep a damp paper towel on the sidelines and step on it when you need to renew traction.

3. Windex
Also from fencing.net "This trick is used by wheelchair athletes. It works better than water, because it softens the rubber making it more 'sticky', thus gripping the floor better. Since most running shoes have rubber soles, it's the same principle."
I'm not sure I noticed a huge difference between Windex and water, but I'll need to do a more in depth study. As we all know, since we've all seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", it should work better.

4. Rosin
Not that I have any, but it's supposed to work well - HOWEVER "Rock rosin can be abrasive as well as sticky and can do a number a polished wood floor, it is also a bear to try and clean off the surface. So you wouldn't want to use it in say someplace like the school gymnasium." (you guessed it - fencing.net).
So unless we want to royally tick off the janitorial staff - and they know who we are - we'd better not try this one.

5. Sneaker with built-in atomizer
You can read the really long and boring article here:
http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/5471768/description.html
To all the rich girls on the team - let me know how well this one works, okay?

This Week's Inspirational Quote